Open a stack of essays on Mountains Beyond Mountains and you will find the same problem repeated: pages of retelling with very little argument. Students narrate Farmer's journey from medical school to Haiti to Peru and Russia, assuming that a thorough account is the same as a strong essay. Teachers recognize the pattern immediately but struggle to explain it in a way students can act on. Clear diagnostic language and targeted feedback can solve this.

Summary dominates for understandable reasons. Students are rewarded for demonstrating that they read the book, and summary feels safe because it is hard to be wrong about what happened. Analysis requires a position that someone might challenge, which is more intimidating. Teachers should acknowledge this tension and present analysis as a skill that can be learned.

A useful distinction for students is between "what happens" and "what it means." Summary answers the first question, while analysis answers the second. After each piece of evidence, a student should be able to complete the sentence "This matters because..." If they cannot, the paragraph is probably summary. Giving students this test helps them self-edit.

Signals That an Essay Is Mostly Summary

Several features reveal summary-heavy writing quickly. Paragraphs begin with chronological transitions such as "then" and "after that," the thesis lists topics rather than making a claim, and quotations appear without commentary. The conclusion often repeats the plot in miniature. Training yourself and your rubric to look for these signals speeds grading and makes feedback more precise.

• Paragraphs open with time markers such as "next" or "later" instead of topic sentences that make a point.
• The thesis announces what the essay will cover instead of what it will argue.
• Quotations are followed immediately by a new event instead of an explanation.
• Verbs are mostly descriptive, such as "goes" and "treats," rather than analytical, such as "suggests" and "reveals."
• The conclusion restates events rather than drawing a conclusion about their significance.

Writing Feedback That Moves Students Forward

Effective feedback names the problem and shows a way out. Instead of writing "too much summary," highlight a paragraph, mark the sentences that describe events, and ask the student to add one sentence explaining what each event reveals about Farmer's priorities or Kidder's view. Seeing the difference in their own writing is more persuasive than a general critique. Students often make rapid progress once they see the pattern.

Modeling is also powerful. Provide a short example of a summary paragraph and a rewritten analytical version based on the same material, and have students identify the differences. They will notice the presence of claims, explanations, and connections to the larger argument. Pair this with the rubric language so that students see how the distinction affects their grade.

Letting AI Handle the First Pass

AI tools are well suited to flagging summary-heavy paragraphs, because the patterns are consistent and the rubric criteria are clear. A tool can scan each paragraph, determine whether it makes a claim or only reports events, and generate a comment suggesting where analysis could be added. Teachers can use this to prioritize which essays need extended discussion. The time saved is substantial across a large class.

As always, human judgment is needed for borderline cases. Some narrative passages are necessary to provide context, and an AI tool may flag them unnecessarily. Teachers can quickly dismiss these flags and focus on the ones that matter. The partnership works best when the teacher treats the tool as a fast reader rather than the final authority.

Practicing Analysis in Small Steps

Students rarely learn analysis from a single comment on a final essay, so build practice into the unit. Use short, low-stakes writing exercises in which students select one passage and write a paragraph explaining what it reveals. Share strong examples and discuss why they work. Repeated practice builds confidence and fluency.

By the time students write the full essay, they should have a clear sense of the difference between summary and analysis and several models to draw on. The improvement in final essays is usually noticeable, and grading becomes more enjoyable. Teachers spend less time marking the same problem and more time engaging with ideas. That shift is the best argument for investing early in analytical skills.