Giving Feedback on Weak Thesis Statements in Old Man and the Sea Essays
Published on September 17th, 2026 by the GraideMind team
If there's one piece of feedback that shows up more than any other on The Old Man and the Sea essays, it's a comment about the thesis statement. Because the novella's themes feel so accessible, students often write thesis statements that are technically true but far too broad to guide a focused essay, something like "Santiago shows perseverance throughout the story."

A statement like that isn't wrong, but it's also not arguable, which means the rest of the essay has nowhere specific to go. Effective feedback here doesn't just say "be more specific," it models what a narrower, more arguable version of the same idea might look like.
For instance, a revised thesis might argue that Santiago's perseverance is rooted specifically in professional pride rather than physical stubbornness, giving the writer a distinct angle to defend rather than a broad truth everyone already accepts.
Giving this kind of concrete, rewritten example rather than an abstract instruction tends to produce faster improvement than repeating general advice about specificity, since students can see exactly what a stronger version looks like in practice.
Common Thesis Weaknesses on This Novella
Beyond overly broad claims, thesis statements on this book frequently suffer from being purely descriptive rather than argumentative, essentially previewing what the essay will cover rather than asserting a position that could be disputed.
- Overly broad claims that no reader would reasonably disagree with
- Descriptive statements that preview content rather than assert an arguable position
- Theses that restate the prompt without adding an original interpretive angle
- Multiple disconnected claims crammed into a single sentence
- Vague language like "shows" or "explores" instead of a precise claim about meaning
A thesis that no reasonable reader would disagree with usually isn't a thesis at all.
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Teachers grading a large stack of essays can save significant time by reading only the thesis statement first across the entire stack before grading any essay in full, flagging weak theses in advance so revision can happen before deeper feedback is written on an essay built on a shaky foundation.
This front-loaded approach avoids the frustrating experience of writing detailed paragraph-level feedback on an essay that ultimately needs to be restructured around a completely different thesis.
Teaching Thesis Revision as a Standalone Skill
A short in-class exercise where students revise three example thesis statements together, moving from broad to specific, tends to produce noticeably stronger first drafts than addressing thesis quality only through individual written feedback after the fact.
This kind of upfront instruction reduces how much individual feedback time is needed later, since fewer essays arrive at the grading stage with a fundamentally unarguable central claim.
When to Require a Revision Before Final Grading
For high-stakes essays, some teachers require a brief thesis check-in before students write the full draft, catching weak theses at the cheapest possible point in the process rather than after a full essay has already been built around a flawed central claim.
This small step, often just a single sentence submitted for quick approval, can meaningfully raise the overall quality of a full essay stack with a relatively small investment of teacher time upfront.
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